Skinks Are Fun
by Yo-Rah
Summary: Botenmaru's just another doggie that really needs to grow up. Thank the Sanada's that Yukimura's around to provide comic relief for the otherwise grim band of warriors and that Demon Eyes Kyo is one helluva guy


Kyo felt his eyebrow quirk at the sight of two fully grown men in such a compromising position. Yukimura had his hands down Botenmaru's pants with a crazy smirk that only a very feminine Yukimura could pull off. Botenmaru was red faced and panting with quick shallow breaths, his hands clutching tightly in his mane of long white hair.

The corner of Kyo's mouth twitched.

"There's a skink down my pants." Botenmaru blurted out when he saw Demon Eyes Kyo openly staring.

"I bet." He nodded readily, smirking that devilishly dazzling grin of his.

"And it's fucking huge!"

"Doubt it."

"I'm serious!"

Upon hearing a commotion the female of the group Yuya Shina came to investigate the fuss between the three men. Curious to no end she stumbled ludicrously over slightly raised bumps in the trail that certainly had no right to be there in the first place and narrowly avoided twisting her ankle on dry leaves. She tripped awkwardly and grabbed a fistful of Kyo's clothing to stop from comically ending up face first in the dirt.

"Hey, Ugly." Kyo grinned, copping a feel as he steadied the woman. "Yukimura's giving Botenmaru a hand job."

Startled, Yuya momentarily forgot about Kyo's fondling as she too took in the sights of Yukimura's hands inside Botenmaru's pants. She gasped in horror, threw her hands over her innocent eyes but left enough of a gap to still see through. If she didn't know any better she would say that Yukimura was enjoying the attention.

"There's a skink in my pants!" Botenmaru explained half heartedly, wriggling like an excited dog though his face was beet red from what the woman assumed was humiliation. Yuya caught herself imagining steam rising out of Botenmaru's ears. She giggled girlishly as the image grew to include a tea kettle on top of his head and Yukimura sipping tea innocently. The picture of angelic purity – the sly fox.

"If you're going to lie at least make it a believable one." Her voice wavered and she shook with suppressed laughter, her eyes still only half covered. "Even _I _know that's a stupid name that guys give their... privates."

"Wanna hear mine?" Kyo asked coyly, toying with the opening of her yukata, wriggling a finger to brush against the twins.

"It's the truth!" Bontenmaru wailed uncharacteristically, ignoring Yukimura's fingers as they danced across his flesh. Yukimura was having too much fun with poor Botenmaru.

"What's going on? You guys having a party without me?" right on cue Benitora suddenly appeared in a flash of awesomeness, landing on a low hanging tree branch with the _Hokuraku Shimon _in hand. He squinted down at his comrades with a goofy smile and struck a pose, the wind picking up as he posed to move his clothes just enough to be dramatic.

Then his eyes grew as wide as saucers and he fell ungracefully out of the tree, scarcely avoiding impaling himself on his own weapon. Oh the irony!

"Wh-what the hell?"

"He's getting the skink." Botenmaru was near tears.

"Get a room would you!" Benitora quickly dashed to the safety of Yuya's bosom and buried his face like an overgrown child, biting Kyo's finger in the process like a dog defending his prized bone - or in this case, woman.

Of course Benitora grinned and brushed his nose against the tips of Yuya's nipples. Oh how he wanted to...

"At least he's consistent." Yuya sighed, picking Benitora away from her chest and knocking him on the head without any sign of mercy or remorse. Poor Benitora nursed his dome as Sasuke turned up, giving the Tokugawa's heir a shove just because he could and ignored the string of insults that Benitora threw at him. Sasuke felt that it would increase his rep of becoming a bad boy if he bullied a man twenty years his senior and an heir of an empire to boot. Never mind the fact that Sasuke was only seven and he's still the best goddamned ninja in all of Japan.

"What are you doing, Yukimura?"

"Why, what does it look like Sasuke?" Yukimura asked, tipping his head to the side cutely. Yukimura enjoyed playing around inside Bontenmaru's freaking pants.

"Is that a joke?" Sasuke, it seemed, was the most mature of the bunch of misfits.

"Boten-chan has a skink in his trousers and I graciously offered to help a dear friend in need." Yukimura's eyes sparkled impishly. "You see Sasuke, he has a teensy weensy fear of the tiny lizard."

Sasuke rolled his eyes but couldn't help a minuscule smile of amusement. Then he saw it. Black button eyes, a slinky tail that swished playfully and a small pink tongue that flicked out to taste the air.

"Uh... Bontenmaru?"

"What?"

"I think it's in your hair."

Botenmaru squealed like a freak and raked his mane for the lizard. For some strange reason Yukimura kept his hands inside Bontenmaru's pants as the man panicked and bucked with terror. Eventually Yukimura was thrown off due to Botenmaru's wild thrusts and agonizing screams. Not to mention the flow of water that leaked out of his eyes that he later insisted was due to the sunlight.

For god's sake it was a lizard less than ten centimetres long.

"Botenmaru!" Kyo thundered suddenly, shaking out the finger Benitora chomped on.

Botenmaru froze suddenly, his entire body growing rigid. His eyes were wide as Kyo advanced on him, a scowl on his devilishly handsome face. Kyo nimbly picked the skink up by the tail, brought the creature to eye level then used the lizard to slap the bigger man on the face.

Kyo then turned his intense gaze back to the animalistic man. "Shake hands." He ordered sternly, zero hints of sadistic delight in there. Nada. Zilch.

Botenmaru sat on his haunches and stuck his tongue out. Then he raised his hand and placed it like a paw into Kyo's open palm.

"Now fuck off." Kyo growled gruffly.

Botenmaru bounded around the small track, snapping a small branch off a tree with his teeth and laid the branch at Yukimura's feet, butt wagging as if he had a tail. Goodness gracious me, Botenmaru was born to the wrong species.

Grinning, Kyo looked at the captive skink still inbetween his fingers, then to Yuya and back again. Yuya's eye grew wide as she watched the sex fiend Kyo and backed up slowly, hitting one of the millions of trees that one finds in a forest of overgrown bushes.

Kyo's eyes sparkled and he let the creature fly, falling smack dab in the middle of Yuya's chest.

"Oops, need any help?" Kyo asked over Yuya's wails and cusses.

The woman shrieked as Kyo swaggered over to dive into her clothing and enjoyed it all immensely.

Yep, Demon Eyes Kyo definitely lives up to his reputation of being a pig headed asshole. But at least he's one sexy asshole.


End file.
